Barry Cooper to Run for Texas Attorney General
April 16th, 2009 by Russ
A movement is building behind a Texas libertarian candidate who pledges to end the war on drugs. Ron Paul, you say? No dice. It’s former DEA agent, turned counterculture warrior, Barry Cooper. Speaking to a crowd of students at the University of Texas, Monday, Cooper announced his intentions to run for Attorney General in the upcoming state election.
Rehabilitated from the depths of the straight and narrow, Cooper now flies his freak flag with abandon. He has already become widely internet-famous for the creation of a series of safety lectures for weed growers entitled, “Never Get Busted.”
The video series educates weed entrepreneurs on DEA and police enforcement and surveillance tactics that could be potentially used against them.
Middle Americans have not seen a self-proclaimed outlaw make a serious run for public office since drug-culture icon, Hunter S. Thompson nearly was elected sheriff of Aspen, Colorado in 1970. While Thompson’s platform included such things as mandatory LSD trips for local police and renaming Aspen, “Fat City,” Cooper seems to be a bit more reserved in his thoughts on governance.
Cooper said:
Our goal from day one — and it has not changed — is to free our prisoners. We currently have 1 million people in jail for non-violent, drug-related crimes, and it makes no sense.
Unfortunately for Cooper, those million non-violent offenders are no longer afforded the right to vote. However, given the meteoric rise of Dr. Paul and other Lone Star oddballs, one thing seems clear: anything can happen in Texas.
Do It with Cheap Sunglasses and Crack
February 18th, 2009 by Perry
Have you ever thought that maybe the safest way to get away with smoking weed would be to do it in plain sight, where police would never expect it? … Me neither.
But if you have, you should probably hang out with this guy. Regardless, Gregory Pracht, 33, of El Paso, is a strong candidate for Dumbass of the Month. Pracht allegedly entered a Target, began stealing stuff, lit up some weed and then walked out of the store with stolen sunglasses on — slick. He was arrested shortly after leaving the store when he was identified by a security guard who was watching him.
As officers placed Pracht, who had a dog with him, in custody, The El Paso Times reported he allegedly lunged at the arresting officer and struck him, after cocaine was also found in his possession. Pracht was in jail shortly thereafter on a $35,310 bond.
Ridiculous Lawsuit: I Want to Be a Hooters Boy
January 13th, 2009 by Silvio
“I want to be a Hooters boy,” is what Nikolai Grushevski said to himself. So he did what (almost) anyone else would, he applied for a job at the famous restaurant chain. The only problem here is… Nikolai is a man, so it doesn’t come as a surprise that he was turned down as a food server.
Instead of looking somewhere else for a job as a waiter, he decided to follow the grand American tradition of litigiousness and sue. The lawsuit, filed Friday, Jan. 9, 2009 in federal court, claims that Hooters tries to circumvent the law by referring to its waiters as ‘Hooters Girls.’
Just as Southwest Airlines attempted nearly three decades ago with stewardesses, the waiter’s position is being limited to females by an employer, “…who merely wishes to exploit female sexuality as a marketing tool to attract customers and insure profitability.”
Exactly!
That statement shows they clearly understand the wonderful concept behind Hooters. So why go and destroy something so beautiful? Who wants to see Nikolai, or any other man for that matter, in a tank top and orange banana hammock? Shaved legs or not. This is not the way I want my food to be served.
At least he is not trying to ban Hooters from hiring girls in general. He wants a fair shot. As a waiter. There was also a similar lawsuit against Hooters in 1995, where the company settled and deemed the positions for kitchen and bartender were “gender neutral.”
Stand your ground Hooters, send these guys to Chotchkie’s and make them wear pieces of flair.
Texas Death Row Inmate Eats Own Eye
January 9th, 2009 by Alex
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!After a solid 12+ years of browsing the internet I’ve seen some pretty messed up things. Safe to say it takes a decent amount to shock me these days, but I’ll be damned if the Texas prison system didn’t just make me choke on a Snapple.
Andre Thomas, a 25 year-old death row inmate with a history of drug & alcohol abuse, pulled his eye out of his head and ate it.
Yea, you just read that correctly. It was his eye. He ate it.
The worst part? This is the second (and last) time he’s done this to himself. Thomas was convicted and sentenced to death row for gruesomely murdering his wife, son and baby daughter – all found with their hearts removed. His defense argued insanity and mental illness, hoping to get him placed in a psychiatric ward instead of prison.
Looks like that’s not going to be an issue anymore, Thomas was shipped to the Jester Unit immediately after treatment of his self-inflicted wound. When the public sees a brutal murder or tragic event take place and during trial the defense goes for an insanity plea, the main reaction is skepticism. “Oh, this crazy asshole is trying to get off easy.”
Maybe without that bias this deeply troubled man would’ve had been able to avoid his demons. This is just one whole barrel of fucked up, a dead family and a blind psychiatric patient. Welcome to Texas.
