Vancouver to Host Weed Winter Olympics
May 26th, 2009 by Russ
In America, weed smoking may be for medicinal or recreational purposes. In Canada, they take their herb quite seriously. So seriously, in fact, that they have decided to welcome the entire international community to the 2010 Winter Olympics by hoisting a giant doobie above the stadium.
Yes, your eyes don’t deceive you. It’s not a scalpel statue, or an electric toothbrush, it’s a joint. A majestic, three foot, aerodynamic, joint. And it’s lit. Or it will be, in any case, when it makes its 21,000 mile journey all over the country of Canada as it is carried by over 12,000 canucks. This gives new meaning to the term “Puff, puff, pass.”
According to the torch relay director, Suzanne Reeves:
It’s quite magical. Most people’s reactions are emotional.
As it should be! After all, wouldn’t you weep before a nationally constructed fatty-to-end-all-fatties?
Drug Testing for Pro-Snowboarders Kills Sport
February 24th, 2009 by Silvio
“Hi, I’m Paul. I’m with USADA and I’m here to watch you piss in this cup.”
That’s what Mason Aguirre, a 21-year-old pro-snowboarder, heard after he was woken up by the door bell. Paul works for the United States Anti-Doping Agency, and as of January 1, 2009, the gloves came off when it comes to fighting dope. Literally.
New regulations demand that every athlete competing in the Olympic games, (not only snowboarders,) are required to hand in a timetable that states their whereabouts for the following three months. This starts 12 months before the games. So you would have to know exactly where you will be everyday for the next three months because the tests are appointed at random. Not only that. You would have to make a window of one hour with your exact location. If you aren’t available at this specific one hour window at the exact location you submitted three months ago, your drug test will count as “missed.” Three of these “missed tests”, and you are very likely not going to be able to participate in the games.
The problem here is: due to the nature of the pro-snowboarding culture, most athletes will not be able to tell you where they will be next week, let alone three months from now. Contests pop up out of nowhere, weather conditions change. It’s not like these guys hang out in a gym and throw hoops or practice asymmetrical bars. Sure, weather conditions are important for almost all outdoor sports events. But every skiing event will be announced ages before it comes up. The same goes for any other “traditional” sports event. Lots of snowboarding events on the other hand, are nothing but lose gatherings of friends. Spontaneous. That’s part of the culture. You take this away, you take away the spirit of the sport.
The biggest attention if it comes to drug testing in the snowboarding realm seems to be focused on marijuana. That may be because of past “scandals” or the general perception that happy people, doing things they enjoy, are a serious threat to society and sports.
I also never understood why marijuana would be considered performance-enhancing. And that’s the point behind doping screenings, or not? To find performance enhancing substances. So it actually does make you a better athlete? I am so very confused now. HELP!
[Thanks, Colin]
