Depleted Border Patrol Looks to Children
May 18th, 2009 by Russ
Like a hungry stoner scavenging through the kitchen cupboards for a stray graham cracker, the US Border Patrol has found its resources sadly lacking recently. Amidst administration demands for more recruitment and hiring, the Border Patrol has turned to a tried and true tactic of depleted armies throughout history — conscripting children.
The Explorers Program, a Boy Scouts of America affiliate, trains the pubescent in the art of raiding dens of iniquity, seizing illegally imported goods, and patrolling barren wastelands.
In the words of a California sheriff’s deputy involved with the program:
This is about being a true-blooded American guy and girl.
While it’s unclear what his hermaphroditic reference is all about, it does seem like a wonderful opportunity for these kids to participate in the formative experience that is pepper-spraying a starving immigrant right in the eye socket. That kind of invaluable interaction will really put some hair on the chests of our next crop of soldier-kids.
Young Boys Arrive High to School, Parents Arrested
April 7th, 2009 by Rick
Two boys, ages 7 and 8, showed up to Cleveland Elementary School in New York, apparently stoned from smoking marijuana. A third, 15-year old boy, was also arrested and accused of designing a smoking device for the two other boys. State Police showed up at the home of 33-year old James Tysco and 34-year old Christina Miczek, the parents of the boys and arrested them on Wednesday for endangering the welfare of a child, a misdemeanor punishable by up to a year in jail. After an investigation, it was believed that the boys smoked the marijuana after finding it in their homes.
I wasn’t aware there was a test that could tell a cop that a person has been smoking marijuana. The article says nothing about the school or the police catching them in the act or finding any marijuana on them. It’s apparent that the kids were questioned by the police, which led them back to their parents’ home.
This is just sheer parental responsibilty because their children are far too young to smoke weed. Regardless it doesn’t take away the fact for conducting a proper investigation and protecting the rights of minors. This case should be thrown out and the parents should have to attend some classes on common sense. Unfortunately if common sense was a high school subject, not many people would be graduating.
- Big Lebowski
- , Bong Water
- , Cheech and Chong
- , Friday
- , Half Baked
- , Harold & Kumar
- , How High
- , Kids
- , Scary Movie 2
- , Super Troopers
Top 10 Stoner Moments in Movies
April 20th, 2007 by AlexThis subject is just too close to people’s hearts, and I’m just not ready to jump in with my own Top 10 Stoner Movies of all time.
Instead, we’ve decided to twist the script and bring you what is sure to be just as hotly a debated topic – The Top 10 Stoner Moments in Movies.
First, the ground rules – these moments don’t necessarily need to be pure comedy or come from a ‘Stoner Movie’ so to speak. Instead, they just need to involve marijuana usage and its accompanying subject matter.
So, what better way then to kick start this monumental debate than on 4/20? Let the game begin!
Bong Water: Forrest DwellersJust being in the movie Bong Water already gives this scene a boost, but it reflects on the NorthWestern culture blazing out in the woods and going for an adventure.
To see the rest of the Top 10 Stoner Moments in Movies, read on…
