Snuggles Smuggles Weed
April 12th, 2007 by Alex
Hopefully, everyone read the Easter Grass article late last week.
It’s pretty impressive when people completely screw up at drug dealing, even when they prepare for police encounters. All Ian Lawrence had to do was drive legally. Assuming he wouldn’t be able to pull that off, he hid his weed in a damn Easter bunny.
The plan was flawless. The execution? Not quite as on point…
If you’re going to hide weed in your car, don’t leave some on the back seat. Oh and while you’re at it, try to take some preventative measures from having the entire car reek like dank. Police officers can be slow at times, but they’re not complete morons.
On top of the driving related charges against Ian, he was also tagged with possession of marijuana, operating a drug factory and possession with intent to sell within 1,500 feet of a school.
Ah well, at least Snuggles has been released from a life of servitude.
The Dangers of Trivial Pursuit
January 4th, 2007 by Alex
Well, it looks like the so-called “party in a box” has done it again. That’s right everyone, Trivial Pursuit has claimed yet another victim.
I still remember in elementary school when the D.A.R.E officers came by and warned all of my class not only about gateway drugs, but also gateway boardgames.
It looks like Flurisha Cooper, a 21 year-old from Chicago, just wasn’t fortunate enough to receive the same anti-drug education that I got. She was hospitalized due to over-intoxication from playing a special type of Trivial Pursuit called the ‘Brandy & Blunts’ Edition.
The rules are simple, if you answer wrong you have to either take a shot of brandy or a rip from a blunt. Now this sounds like a board game I can get into, especially since I get every single damn question wrong. Coincidentally, that’s what got Flurisha in trouble also.
So why is this article such a comedy goldmine? Never mind the author being diligent enough to inform us that Flurisha was the yellow piece, it’s because this might be the first recorded case of illness due to “continually providing wrong answers.”
[via CBS Chicago]
Rocket Scientist Breaks into Prison
November 20th, 2006 by Tim
I’m not a card-carrying MENSA member, but there are a few things in this world I learned instinctively. Let’s take jail for instance. Jail is a place I stay away from, especially voluntarily. Looks like a genius in England learned this the hard way.
An intruder snuck over an 8ft tall fence into the HMP (Her Majesty’s Prison) Kirkham facility. The plan was to stash drugs and other goodies for his brother to sell to other inmates. While trying to climb back over the fence, he was cornered by prison guards and arrested. They found his stash hidden inside a garbage can.
So what was worth breaking into jail to deliver? Let’s take a look:
Heroin
Weed
Steroids
3 liters of vodka
3 bottles of Southern Comfort
3 bottles of Bacardi
80 cigarettes
18 DVDs
2 mobile phones
Calling cards
Phone chargers
And, a partridge in a pear tree
You could probably open a small retail store with that sort of inventory. Not surprisingly, both the dude who jumped the fence and his accomplice were caught. Now they can all hang out in their favorite place - jail. Together. Again.
[via Daily Mail: London]
Smart Guy Deposits Own Stash at Bank
October 26th, 2006 by Tim
“Hear ye! Hear ye! Gather ’round! Ye banks of America no longer consider marijuana legal tender for all debts past and current. Let all know, we shall stop accepting marijuana deposits hence forth!”
In Iowa, an employee of the Pizza Pit, intentionally hid his personal stash in the restaurant’s deposit bag. Adrian Hilton, clearly intelligent and on top of his game, didn’t stop there. He drove to the bank and dropped the bag off in the bank’s night deposit box with with his herb still nestled comfortably inside.
So after a long day of work, poor Adrian wasn’t able to relax with his Buddha. Sounds like a drag, huh? On top of that, he was charged for possession of marijuana when the bank employees returned the next day, discovered his interesting deposit, and promptly called the police.
Bank: 1
Adrian Hilton: 0
[via KETV]
