How to Setup Your Kid for Failure in Life
November 19th, 2008 by AlexStep 1) Name him/her after a notorious underworld figure - and don’t forget to fuck up on the spelling.
Step 2) Finished.
I mean, really. This kid shouldn’t even be on trial. His parents should be dragged before the judge and asked if they saw a crack possession charge coming when they named their bundle of joy “Dalcapone Alpaccino.”
I would pay a serious chunk of change to hear just a piece of the conversation about how Dalcapone got named…
Mom: Let’s name this thing Lucciano Pescci Denirogotti.
Dad: Nah woman, Dalcapone Alpaccino.
Mom: Nailed it!
Hmmm, I wonder if anyone else was unlucky enough to be named Dalcapone? Yep, this douche was.
Back to Dalcapone Alpaccino, his whole docket’s available online, but you shouldn’t be able to charge anyone with parents as stupid as this. No matter what he allegedly did, it’s not all his fault, he didn’t even get a fair start.
Just Say No: Cartoon All-Stars
December 20th, 2006 by AlexSponge Bob who? If you need to learn about saying NO to drugs, it’s time to get real with the Cartoon All-Stars. Here we have a couple of outtakes from this ironically hilarious anti-drug PSA.
No one drops knowledge like Alf or Bugs Bunny, Baby Kermit or the Chipmunk kids. They give it to you straight - Marijuana leads to craziness, you turn into a ghoulish zombie on drugs and the smoke monster loves crack. There really isn’t anything more to say.
Entire episode action after the jump.
