Dumbass Gets DUI on Horseback
April 4th, 2007 by Alex
Melissa Byrum York, a drunk redneck Sylvania, Alabama resident, was charged with a DUI for riding her horse while intoxicated.
After riding in traffic and causing cars to avoid her, police were called into the equation. Feeling like there was more to be done, Melissa decided to evade police capture in style by ramming the police car with her horse while trying to escape.
Too bad she got her feet caught in the stirrups while trying to jump off the horse and run. Eh, not so smooth.
After being cuffed and searched, police found some of that magical riding powder known as crystal meth accompanied by some weed, pills and a pipe.
What a surprise that someone out drunkenly riding a horse in the middle of the night through city streets might have a small drug and a large reasoning problem.
Congratulation Melissa, you’re our first Official Dumbass of the Month.
[via Newsvine]
Don’t Fuck with John Popper
March 9th, 2007 by Alex
John Popper and his pal Brian Gourgeois were arrested in Washington state for driving 111 mph.
Ok, people speed, fair enough. Then they found that John likes to partake in marijuana, as they found a small amount of pot and a pipe in his car. Then they found out that John likes to shoot things, is afraid of an upcoming apocalypse and perhaps likes to hunt humans at night.
It’s cool to collect guns, but bringing enough fire power to arm a Ugandan warlord might just be pushing the envelope. When police officers had a drug dog search his SUV, they found:
- 4 rifles
- 9 handguns
- 1 switchblade
- 1 taser
- 1 pair of nightvision goggles
- flashing emergency headlights
- a siren
- a public address system
John informed police that he installed all of these items into his car in preparation for a natural disaster.
I don’t know what sort of natural disasters strike Washington state, but usually things like emergency rations, communications equipment, candles, generators and clothing are what people stockpile. Not rifles, tasers and nightvision goggles.
John’s car was impounded and the Washington state police are charging him with misdemeanors. Perhaps he’s giving them the “Run Around?”
[Photos via Washington State Patrol/AP]
Avoid Hitting State Patrol Cars @ 70mph
March 8th, 2007 by Alex
It’s been a while since someone has straight-out qualified for our dumbass category, but this guy brings the game to a whole new level.
Instead of waiting for police to actually determine he was doing something illegal and then arrest him, the 54 year old driver (pictured above) decided to slam his Chevy Malibu into a police cruiser at 70 miles per hour.
After attending to the officer with minor injuries, police found 43 pounds of marijuana in his trunk. They also found a few smoked joints and trace amounts of cocaine. After everything was figured out, the driver was charged with possession of cocaine, driving under the influence and trafficking.
If there’s any lesson to be learned here by criminals, it has to be buy a redbull to keep yourself awake and don’t do cocaine while you’re driving. Dumbass.
[via Local 6]
Interview: Teenager who Gave Nephews Pot
March 8th, 2007 by AlexWhenever a polarizing subjects like drugs and children combine, it’s going to be a lightning rod for criticism. This video shows an uncut interview with the teenager who gave his nephews pot… and recorded it.
You can see the complete cultural opposites of an urban black youth while he’s communicating with the officer who’s doing the interview. In his mind’s eye, he hasn’t done anything horrible like pull a gun on someone or shoot them full of crystal meth, but he still hasn’t digested why people find this so offensive.
Obviously, this behavior is wrong. He knows it, he was just being a stupid kid. Everyone is to some degree, and I’m sure there are things that if you video taped them you’d be in the hot seat, but this sort of shit really puts a bad name on the mantle of pot smokers.
[via CNN]
Unfortunately, this video seems to be generated by an anti-ethnic website (and hosted on YouTube). I wasn’t able to find another copy, so I’ve been forced to use this one. tFS doesn’t support the message of the people who generated this video, so we will not acknowledge them with a referring link. I suggest you do the same.
Crazy Eyed Killaz
January 10th, 2007 by Alex
Just in case we have any readers with serious delusions, this post shows that not everyone who smokes pot is a mellow do-gooder.
Mitchell Johnson (crazy looking kid #1) and Justin Trammell (crazy looking kid #2) were arrested early January in northwestern Arkansas with weed and a loaded gun.
Why did I bold the loaded gun part instead of the usual drug terms? Maybe because each one of these guys has been convicted of seriously violent crimes and neither one of them is 25 years old yet.
Mitchell Johnson was one of the two kids convicted in the 1998 Jonesboro school massacre. Mitchell and a classmate shot and killed 5 people and wounded 15 others. Their sentence? Confinement until the age of 21 - a punishment that absolutely doesn’t fit the crime.
Our other contestant, Justin Trammell, was convicted of murdering his father with a crossbow in 1999.
This is pretty much the definition of a gruesome twosome and all of us are lucky they’re off the streets before anyone could be hurt or killed. In this case only, I’m glad the drugs I try to protect will aid in adding jail time to some well deserved prison sentences.
[via Washington County Sherriff's Office/AP]
Mike Tyson & The Police: Together Again
December 29th, 2006 by Alex
When I saw the familiar shape of letters grouped together, creating the name Mike Tyson, I got a warm feeling that reminded me of my childhood. Jail sentences, chomped off ears, unforgettable quotes and more - good ol’ Mike has always had a place in my heart.
This time, Mike didn’t do anything outlandish like stomp on the hood of some passer-by’s car. He just came close to crashing into a sherriff’s vehicle and then got arrested for driving impaired and possession of cocaine.
The irony is that the jail he was brought to was the same jail that he had done previous anti-drug work with juvenile offenders.
With that said, all the major news outlets are covering this story, so why not bring out the brighter side of Mike Tyson?
Read on for more…
Houston Law Enforcement 20,000lb. Bust
December 28th, 2006 by Tim
An agent staking out the warehouse the truck departed, entered in hopes of finding the owner when he discovered a few bales of weed inside.
Following further investigation, law enforcement were delighted when they found (and later seized) $20 - $40 million worth of marijuana cargo in the trailer. And to think, this all could’ve been diverted if Louis just had his damn headlights on at 10pm at night; they would’ve had no right to pull him over otherwise.
Charged with possession of a controlled substance and possession of marijuana with intent to deliver, it doesn’t sound like Louis has much of a defense case - which ultimately means a long, long jail sentence.
Lt. J.D. Glesmann with the Sheriff Department’s Covert Operations Unit stated:
I’ve been in narcotics (division) since ‘93 and I’ve never seen a load of marijuana as big as this.
I guess that means this was big?
The bales of weed were packaged incognito-style, wrapped in plastic and coated in calcium carbonate to diffuse smell and placed in wooden crates, covered in coal. Lastly, the crates were labeled with car makes and numbers, most likely to be used for national distribution.
Obviously, this was the work of professionals and someone, somewhere is having a really bad day.
[via Houston Chronicle]
Frank Gotti Agnello Headshot
December 26th, 2006 by Alex
One of our last posts in November had to do with Frank Gotti Agnello getting busted for morphine and oxycontin.
Well, The Smoking Gun sourced the junior Gotti’s mugshot and put it up on their wall of shame. I think the best part about this shot is the dollar sign hoodie that shows Frank is all about the benjamins.
[via The Smoking Gun]
